Saturday, August 28, 2010

Lizardmen Vs. Dark Elves 2500pts. 8-21-2010

A rather slow-witted Slann named Wutenwherenhowen was focusing on his ruminations. He was contemplating whether he was a swamp fly dreaming he was a Slann, or a Slann dreaming he was a swamp fly. This was a rather silly contemplation since all the other Slann had long since decided he was a nincompoop and therefore fit to be called neither a Slann or a swamp fly.

Wutenwherenhowen sensed a darkness on the winds of magic. An evil intent directed at nothing in particular. A pure desire to engage in malicious activities. Or maybe a wizard just ate a bad taco. Wutenwherenhowen's sensitivity to the exact nature of the winds of magic is not what it could be...

As Wuten investigated the disturbance he came to the conclusion it was a raiding party of those dreaded Dark Elves. He would have to muster some forces to prevent them from getting any deeper into his territory. Otherwise he would never hear the end of the other Slanns' jokes about the deep Dark Elf penetration into his nether regions.

In deciding what forces to take with him to confront the Dark Elf raiders, Wuten looked out and saw a vast sea of Skinks. He decided they had been idle too long and decided to take a few of them. Perhaps fifty? No, so many of them could not be expected to maintain order within the unit. They are after all the most cowardly of the Lizardmen. He settled on forty six of them making sure to include a more capable looking Skink, one with a conga drum, and one carrying some strange piece of cloth on a pole. He sent three of the mighty Kroxigor along with them to keep them in line.

He then decided he should have a few of the Skinks who had been trained to fight in less organized units. Perhaps 20 of them separated in to two units? Yes that would do nicely. And 8 of the chameleons to go behind the enemy lines and harry them. He would have taken more of the chameleons, but they are so difficult to find.

Not one to leave the Saurus behind when confronting a dreaded foe such as the Dark Elves, Wuten summoned 30 of the Saurus Warriors and ordered them into two groups; again making sure to bring a more capable looking Saurus in each group, a drummer, and one carrying that silly cloth thing. He was not sure why, but the cloth-pole made him feel better about the units chances.

He then summoned a group of Cold One Knights. There were more than a dozen in the group. He chose the strongest looking five, which happened to include a drummer and one carrying a cloth-pole. The Knights became slightly incensed and informed Wutenwherenhowen that the cloth-poles are called standards. He did not understand this as he had seen several units which did not carry one, but thought it would not be wise to start an argument with his elite troops before a battle.

Feeling a bit magically exposed, he scooped up some Ixti Grubs and called to Tehenhauin and another Skink priest. These would be fine magical allies, and could shore up the Skink Horde he had selected earlier.

He saw a couple Barbed Razordons that he thought looked kind of cute and decided to bring them along. This rounded out his army sufficiently that he SQUIRREL! ... where was he? Oh yes round army. Not a fan of Hexagons or other such geometric shenanigans.

Approaching the disturbance he had sensed he surveyed the field. On the far left about halfway between his army and where he expected to see the Dark Elves emerge, there was a ghoslty fence adjacent to a sandy bog. That should keep any knights or heavy infantry out of that area. To the left and right of the center of the field were grudge stones. The negative energy emanating from them had the potential for deadly effects. To the right of the rightmost grudge stone was a magic circle. It resembled a CD, whatever that is. There was a tower he expected to see garrisoned by the Dark Elves near the far edge of the clearing. A fence at the front of where the enemy line would be looked like the last piece of terrain that would be relevant. (There were a couple other pieces of terrain, but they ended up not affecting the battle.)

Wuten deployed his troops. Front and center was the big block of Skinks. They were joined by Tehenhauin and the nameless priest. Left and right of them were the Skirmishers, and behind them two blocks of Saurus Warriors. The Cold One Knights pushed their way up between the big block and the Skirmishers to their right. Wuten positioned himself with his personal guard behind the big block of Skinks and to the left. The Razordons found themselves a comfortable spot out on the right of the battle line.

The Dark Elf commander emerged from the jungle and quickly began positioning his troops. As expected, a large unit of Dark Elven Reaper Crossbowmen darted into the tower, and another positioned itself behind the fence. Two Reaper Bolt Thrower crews set their deadly machines up on either side of the tower. A large block of Dark Elf Elite Infantry (I cannot recall whether they were Executioners or Black Guard.) set up directly across from the large unit of Skinks. A pair of units of Dark Riders saw the Razordons and elected to set up opposite them. Something that resembled a Hydra's tail was seen sticking out from behind the tower.

It was then that Wuten sprung his trap. The chameleons appeared to the left of the Dark Elf battleline! They should be able to harass that flank sufficiently to to prevent them focusing on the main battle.

Now, how to defeat this enemy? Wuten figured the Dark Elves were leaning awfully hard on those "standards" as the COK had called them. (He still did not understand the name. Only two "standards" appeared in the entire enemy army.) If he could take those standards from the enemy, they might just lose heart and retreat from the battlefield. Of course, the same seemed to be true of his army. He would have to keep an eye on that.

As Wuten was considering how to route the enemy, one of the units of Dark Riders made a short advance to get in better position.

Startled, Wuten threw up a hand and his army surged forward. The whole army moved forward as one. Okay, it was more like one hundred that they moved. Various speeds and directions were taken. It kind of looked like sending a number of Slinkys down a stairway. They should all move the same, but they don't.

The COK moved as quickly as they could directly toward the DE bowmen behind the fence. The Saurus, Skirmishers, and big block of Skinks moved straight forward. The Razordons made a forward lateral move to the right, attempting to get close enough to the Dark Riders to fire, but stay far enough away to not get easily charged. The Chameleons approached the DE Pegasus near the Reaper Bolt Throwers and Hydra.

Wuten felt the winds of magic begin to blow. He let loose a maniacal giggle. The Temple Guard were certain this meant that the winds of magic were blowing strongly. The truth was that Wuten was very ticklish, and the winds were hitting just the right spot to send him into convulsions.

Once he gained control of himself again, he used the winds to gather a throne of vines for himself. He then used the winds to cast a couple defensive spells on himself and other units. At one point, the winds threatened to go out of control and cause harm to Wutenwherenhowen, but he cowered in his throne of vines and was able to maintain enough control to escape harm.

Then the hail of missile fire began. The Chameleons let loose first, firing their blowpipes at the Pegasus and rider. Not many of their darts hit, and those that hit did not penetrate the defenses of the winged horse or its rider.

The Skirmishers launched their javelin. Being tired from their grueling march, they were not able to accomplish much damage from the limit of the weapon's range.

The Razordons let loose with a volley of about ten deadly barbs. Three of these knocked Dark Riders from their saddles. Wuten did a mental emote. The one that looks like a chinese guy's smiling eyes with the two upward angle brackets. ^^

Then he realized he had dozed off. Of course the Razordons did not do any shooting just now, they had marched. Razordons are too cute to fire on the march. (Yeah, I went to fire the razordons, then realized they had marched. I went through the motions anyway. It would have been a pretty decent round of shooting.)

Their momentum spent, the Lizardmen settled in to see what the Dark Elves would do.

The Dark Pegasus flew over behind the Lizardmen lines, stopping near one of the grudgestones. The winged horses wind unsettled the nearby unit of Saurus warriors. They would have to keep an eye on him.

The front unit of Dark Riders moved swiftly and got between the Razordon pack and the main army. The rear unit moved slightly closer to the Razordons in the front.

Then the winds of magic stirred again. Suddenly many of the Skinks in the big block turned to gold! If Wuten had to guess how many, he would have said 69. Of course that would be preposterous since there were only 46 in the unit. In truth it was about 17 of the little lizards that became the alchemists' dream. Most mortals would have been tempted by the shiny gold statues their friends had become. The Skinks however lived up to the quote from the great Dicky Smothers, "You're so stupid, you can't even be stupid." (Yes, I and my opponent forgot to have that unit test for Stupidity as they were supposed to the next turn. Sure they had a 99.7% chance of success, but it is still kind of lame I did not at least roll for it.)

Then the Dark Elf line opened up with their missile weapons. 2 Chameleons disappeared. 4 Saurus Warriors were impaled by a Bolt from one of the Reaper Bolt Throwers. Wuten paused for a moment to notice that they looked an awful lot like a shishkabob. He was wondering how they would taste if they were roasted. Would that be cannibalism? Nah, they are a different species. And clearly the Slann are superior to the other species so it would be fine... maybe...

A couple of the Razordons' handlers disappeared under a hail of fire from the Dark Riders Wuten thought they had killed.

The COK ignored everyone around them and the Stupidity of their mounts (yeah, another neglected Stupidity test) to charge the DE archers defending the fence. They nearly stumbled, but managed to reach the enemy without incident. The big block of Skinks charged headlong into the block of DE elites in front of them. The Razordons turned to face the Dark Riders that had flanked them. The chameleons moved closer to the closest Reaper and crew. The rest of the army made a general advance.

Wuten cast several minor spells including the Shield of Thorns which he gave to the big block of Skinks. He also used magic to polish 7 of the Skinks that had been turned to gold. The magic polished the gold right off and they returned to their unit. Cheap gold plating... Then he realized that a number of the spells he had previously cast had worn off. Well, nothing to be done about it now. It was then that the enemy wizards began dispelling Wutens remaining spells. The first thing they dispelled was his Throne of Vines. Wuten crashed to the ground. "This is not right." he thought. "Even if my vines disappeared, my palanquin should have kept me aloft." The narrator said, "Shut up, it's less funny if you just float." At the end of the wizards' work, the only thing remaining was the shield of thorns on the Skink block.

The Razordons let loose with a hail of barbs. 20 to be exact. Four of the Dark Riders suffered unsaved wounds. Wuten giggled maniacally, stopped, then after checking to make sure he was not dreaming, began giggling again. The chameleons managed to kill one of the crew on the Reaper.

The combat between the Skink block and the DE Elites went well. A couple DEs died, a couple skinks died. The overwhelming numbers of the Skinks and the intimidating forms of the Kroxigor and Tehenhauin caused the DE unit to shudder, but they stood. The Knights killed a couple of the archers and remained safe themselves.

The Dark Elf commander ordered the Hydra to charge the unit of Skink Skirmishers in front of him. Before he could move on to other things, the commander watched the Hydra tear through that unit and into a block of Saurus Warriors. (The Skinks, much to nobody's surprise, vaporized under the onslaught of the Hydra who then overran into the unit of Saurus behind.) The Reaper crew on that flank ripped through the unit of Chameleons taking down four of the remaining six. With only two left in the unit, someone sent a stray bolt in their direction and took the unit down to one. Despite the carnage inflicted on his unit the lone Chameleon stood. He looked around for a Tonto or Silver, but alas, neither were to be found.

Both units of Dark Riders charged the Razordons. The Razordon unit prepared for the onslaught.

The combat between the big block of Skinks and the DE elites continued. Tehenhauin and his Tide of Serpents scored first dropping two or three DE. The Skinks scored next doing a couple wounds. Then the DE Elites killed the Skink Priest and about 4 of the Skinks. Finally the Kroxigor brought their massive clubs into play. The massive beasts swept the remaining Dark Elves aside, crushing armor and breaking bones.

With the standard bearer in that unit dead, the resolve of the raiders broke. The whole army made a hasty retreat. Wutenwherenhowen, although sad to see them go (before he had a chance to cast more spells), allowed them to leave. There would be other days.

This was a really fun battle. Both sides did considerable damage, although only three units were actually destroyed: Chameleons, 1 unit of Skirmishers, and the DE Elite infantry. The spell that killed 17 of my Skinks in one swoop was heart-stopping. I had a horde that was about 33% gone before it ever saw combat or even got shot. Fortunately he either did not have LOS to that unit or chose to focus on other units with his shooters.

We really saw the usefulness of the new magic system. The potential to wipe units out in one swoop, ignoring miscasts and massively increasing stats like Toughness, restoring models that have been killed, are all amazingly powerful. What used to be a useful-in-the-right-situations portion of the game has become a significant part of the strategy.

I think mixed units of Skinks and Kroxigor are useful, which is something I did not think before. Since the unit is unlikely to break, the Kroxigor will actually be pretty well protected. The overwhelming numbers will usually lead to having more ranks and that means Steadfast. In this case I was doing enough damage that it did not come into play but will often be useful.

Oh, and seeing my Razordon unit fire off 20 shots (the maximum) at once was awesome. :)

Hey Fixeddice, feel free to add your pictures to this.


kennyB said...

Firstly, awesome write-up. Lol'd several times.

Secondly and etc, they were Executioners (which I never even attempted to use in 7th edition because of their great weapons, but now can swipe away skinks with abandon because of step-up) and every unit within 6" or 12" including the unit turned to gold was supposed to test for stupidity, and knowing the rolls in our group.... ;)

This was an absolute blast of a game, even though I was decimated. Things happened non-stop, and much dice-rolling ensued. And again, great write-up!

Darth Weasel said...

Hysterically funny. You need to write more of these. Great, great stuff.

Second, congrats on the Slann once more attaining his rightful position as THE best spellcaster in the game.

And forget not it was Honor and Glory that ended the game...

kev said...

Excellent write up!